Pop Culture Nonsense: Five Superhero Movies So Stupid (They Must Be Seen Part 1)

Five Superhero Films So Bad They Must Be Seen

Being a comuc book fanboy, and a weirdo completist, I tend to watch EVERYTHING that's ever been committed to film that has a comic book source material basis.....and for every THE DARK KNIGHT and CAPTAIN AMERICA : CIVIL WAR,  there's two dozen terrible fucking superhero movies.  And, even amongst the bad, there's a few "gems" that shine despite their ineptitude....the pure unintentional humor value outweighs anything they lack in talent or budget...

CAPTAIN AMERICA (1990, 21ST CENTURY PICTURES)

One the casualties of the collapse of 1980s schlock merchants Cannon Films, CAPTAIN AMERICA is a victim of limited budget and a butchered hatchet job of an edit.

At one point in time, Cannon was looking to cast Dolph Lundgren in the role, but finally settled on Matt Salinger as Steve Rogers aka Captain America (most interesting thing about Salinger: his father was J.D. Salinger, infamously reclusive author of CATCHER IN THE RYE).

  Portraying his arch nemesis is Scott Paulin as an Italian (?!?) Red Skull, who has reconstructive surgery after the war and decides to kidnap the President of the United States (played by Ronnie Cox) 45 years later and has the most unimpressive nuclear bomb in film history as part of his arsenal.

 Also, look for Bill Mumy (Will Robinson of LOST IN SPACE fame, all growed up) and Darren McGavin portraying the same role 45 years apart and Ned Beatty as the President's goofy childhood friend turned reporter.

 Going directly to home video in 1992, the video cassette release of this film went out if print as soon as it hit rental store shelves, and everyone involved pretty much wanted to disown it,  It's scarce nature, as well as the stories of it's complete and utter terribleness garnered CAPTAIN AMERICA a small cult following amongst comic book fanboys.  In 2012, director Albert Pyun offered a director's cut of the film via Sony's burn on demand specialty DV-R service, but the verdict is still out as to whether the nearly hour and a half of cut footage reinserted into the film improves it.

BARB WIRE (1995 Universal Pictures)

Hey, kids!  Titties!

 I don't know whose brilliant idea  it was to take one of Dark Horse Comics'  early 1990s attempts at creating a shared superhero universe (as well as an attempt to cash in on the then current "Bad Girl" character craze....Lady Death, anyone?) and decided to do a dystopian sci fi remake of CASABLANCA (no....really.  I can't make this shit up), cast Pamela Anderson in the Bogart role (and the dude who played Jango Fett in ATTACK OF THE CLONES in the "Ilsa" role)....and then decided to sell the whole mess on the merits of T&A provided by Anderson,......but....I'd like the chance to shake their hand.  It's a spectacular trainwreck of a movie.

Ms. Wire's first comuc book appearance from 1993, and below a more current incarnatiin of the comic

I can't tell if I enjoy Anderson's inability to act (which is epic, trust me) or a genuinely talented ensemble cast of veteran genre picture actors slumming it up in character roles that I enjoy more about this film.  I'd watch Udo Kier read from the phone book, but he does a stellar job of  chewing scenery here.

Jesus Christ.....there's more gaffer's tape holding up her tits than rigging up the lighting in this flick.